Friday, November 20, 2009

195 posts

Good morning all,
There are a few topics I'd like to cover today.
Since Oprah is cancelling, maybe I can take her spot.
Be careful, I am a christian heir.

The next appointment I schedule for THE COUCH should be more than interesting.
There has been a lot that has transpired in the last 12 hours!
My therapist will be delighted as I have so much to discuss.
Which guarantees her salary.
First of all, I want to figure out why I have these labels for the men in my Life?
It reminds me of those folks who paste Post-It note pads all over their home reminding them to do certain little things.
Kinda OCD ish.
There is my then husband, my support, my musician, my lover, my brother, my friend?
There are countless others.
What's up with that?
Well, I'm not sure but it seems to work for me.
That's the scary part.
Anywho, last night was soooooooooo coool.
Ya' ever just have all the planets line up for you.
Everything is perfect.
But to make a long story short cause you know I love me some writing!...
I fell asleep early.
But before I retired, I turned my phone OFF so as my musician could serenade straight into my VoiceMail.
He has this tremendous ability to arrange music.
He often allows me to be the critic which is more than cool to me.
So last nights rendition of Thelonius Monk's 'Round Midnight turned out to be around midnight.
In the deepest sleep I dreamed of dancing and party dresses.
I spoke with a lilt in my voice.
I smelled gladiolas and I wore white.
At exactly 12:19 I woke up .
I woke up thinking I was gonna hear my music.
But I opened the phone to a message from my then husband.
A message which came in just two minutes prior.
What made me wake up at that precise moment?
My phone was turned OFF.
I could not have heard it ring.
And I am not psychic.
Psycho either.
When I texted him to ask if he had just sent this message, he replied, "Yes, 10 mins ago".
****enter in TWILIGHT ZONE music*****
Its now about 12:30 am.
Phone rings.
Sweet nothings from my friend.
New text message.
Lunch date for this afternoon.
Mind you its 12:45 in the morning?!!
Last but not least,
A goodnight from the dog.
Yup, the planets are all lined up.
Brace yourselves, this only happens once.
I eventually heard my VM and the music was heavenly.
Just enought to put me back into a deep sleep.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


GOD is truly working with me today.
I am trying my best to be patient.
But everything is trying my nerves.
There really isn't anything to be upset about.
Everything is in order when you think of it.
What I am faced with at the present is truly preparing me for the future.
I look back on several situations and realize just why I was traveling a particular road.
I also remember that AFTER I arrived it seemed like it was done with such finesse, so calming and perfectly.
Almost like childbirth.
You go for nine months of discomfort and then deliver this wonderful blessing and forget instantaneously of what you dealt with prior!
I don't remember the trials, the tribulation, the questioning of the situation...
I just know GOD saw me thru it all, every time.
So now here I am again, waiting for GOD to see me thru it all.
And what is ALL?
Again, I need to focus on the blessings.
Just because a relationship fails, and the season of harvest is yes, yet to come, the new car will manifest shortly, is no reason to embrace fear.
Don't let me forget to add the shedding of this winter weight I've gained.
I feel like a Polar bear.
Ready for hibernation.
Got a few extra pounds on me; I guess to keep us warm.
Somehow my support manages to see all of this as "De/Drama" as he refers it to.
Accent on the De.
"Let it go", he remarks repeatedly.
I did, I thought.
But I guess not.
I'm still writing about it.
So I leave you, pressing forward.
Patiently waiting on the Lord.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


This is endurance for me.
To continue writing this blog and not be able to go back and review it and especially not to see it when completed, is difficult.
But somehow God keeps the words flowing and I am determined to be obedient.
I have been dealing with change for quite some time now.
It comes in all kinds of ways.
From coin, (change) to new relationships, change.
I have accumulated... for those of you who know me, that is my past time, clutter.
I have come across in my travels for each of our children some kind of "treasure box" to store one's keepsakes.
Tyler is the newest candidate and he received a nice whiskey bottle.
A carafe of sorts, crystal and with an intricate design.
I emptied change into it for him and now he thinks every loose "dolla" goes in this jar.
Don't leave your money down folks.
His jar was laced with a ten and singles I dropped down with my keys.
"oh no! buddy",( my favorite expression for him) that is Mimi's money!!!.
I think that is why his Cabbage Patch has agreed to the name "Buddy".
Now if that had been his Grandpa, any of them, for the record, they would have doubled the amount and probably asked him what denominations he chose to have.
That is why GOD made Mimis.
Yeah, the can't stand me by now but I love them.
Despite the fact my heart is still bruised from last night.
(More changes)
I'm not feeling too hot mentally.
I go to bed early.
I'm in a DEEP sleep.
All of the sudden I hear this high pitched shrill, screaming frantically in the night.
It's Tyler.
He wants his brothers yogurt.
Yeah, they can't stand me.
When I got finished with them they were sound asleep in 45 seconds.
But I love them.
Its been changes for everyone in our home.
Kris got his wake up call.
Kelly's bells are still ringing.
Malcolm is somewhere chiming.
Dad? He's checking out a watch.
Everything In Time.
and me?
I'm loving being Mommy, mamma, Mimi, De and all the other characters involved.
I'm just missing the last link that holds it all together.
Can't seem to find that clasp that holds it all together yet.

Monday, November 16, 2009


Hi everyone,
I hope your weekend was successful.
I spent most of the weekend alone (at the house) as the kids went to the Godmother's house to play or cause a ruckus, I am not sure.
They always come home with adjusted personalities.
So we have to almost have to detox when they return.
You know, clear their minds and little bodies of all the stuff they have picked up.
Germs, words, habits, attitudes, stuff.
They come home with the strangest stuff.
"Where did you get that?" I'm always asking.
So while they were eating GodMom outta' house and home; we went to the bookstore.
I bought a book on Inner Simplicity.
I need outer simplicity, first, but I couldn't find that title.
Especially after dealing with patient Kris.
And that is not patient as in wait.
But I think its going to be ok.
I got to run.
Its break time.