Friday, March 18, 2011

Hold on

I love the fact that I am able to ask God to help me.
Thank you GOD.
In the midst of all that is going on in my Life, I have to stop and realize there is an answer to all this chaos.
It is to "be still and know that I am God", so the scripture says.
When I am still enough to listen I find so much to be grateful for.
I hear folks in their well wishes to me.
I feel their LOVE and concern for me.
I recognize the time they are taking to ask how I am feeling is their time.
Of which they have shared with me.
Sometimes a simple story can change the way one feels.
I started out in gloom this morning, having not slept well for the last couple of days, I am exhausted.
It is hard to focus, hard to think positive and hard to keep a pity party from coming on strong.
This morning I was blessed with so many helpers.
Folks who offered to take my pain, give me a new hip, get me some ice, fill up my teacup, hug my beaten down body and make me whole!
God is good.
HE knows I love music.
Last night, for the SECOND time I was graced with some great shots of my friends playing music at The Georgetown Saloon!
It made me feel soooo good, even tho I wasn't there ~ I was there in spirit!
So my point here is to be patient.
Good things are coming.
If today seems to be challenging, tomorrow will be easier as you have almost made it thru the day....

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Lake Lilinonah
I went to Lake Lilinonah last night.
It was a total surprise!!!
I haven't been there in a season and the ability to reunite and become part of the Nature there was remarkably easy.
But I have to say, it crept up on me....
As we ventured nearer to the water, the air changed.
The Spirit of Sadness which had grown heavy on my heart had lifted gently.
As the angels in the night lowered themselves down into my Spirit I laid back and took everything in.
It was so quiet.
Everything was so still.
We rounded the corner and the in the darkness was my bridge.
The entrance called my name and welcomed me with open arms.
I saw the sky first.
I smelled the water.
In the distance I felt my Daddy, hovering gently over the skies; its colors of pinks and yellows.
In between the mountains lie a patch of time.
It looked like a day that one might have tucked away in their heart, a time of celebration, hope and peace.
It kept me last night.
Held me tight.
I had forgotten the devastation I had endured earlier.
My heart had hurt so badly way back then, hours earlier.
My mind, crumpled and sore.
I sunk deeply in a mass of funk.
A grey of clouds.
A questionable place somewhere between hell and home.
It seemed I had failed again.
I had failed twice this time.
As I knew I had failed, but exactly how I had failed left me clueless and angry.
That gut feeling that gnaws at you, leaving you listless and confused.
But the beauty of Lilinonah had me.
So I simply, forgot. Forgot what had troubled me so deeply.
I left that time zone to join my Dad above the mountains.
To hear my favorite words round about my head.
The I love yous and I miss yous chanted loudly at me.
I responded; in pain as it wasn't always that I could tell my Dad how I felt.
He is one of my true heroes.
He watched me at Lake Lilnonah last night.
He opened the heavens for me so God could hear my prayer.
I ended up remembering my pain.
My physical pain, emotional pain, metal anguish.
I cried forcefully all the way home with desperation and fear.
I wondered just how long would it take me to get Life right?
Or would I ever come to know?
This morning I dreamed I was awakened in the middle of the lake.
Swimming and floating and paddling in the middle of the lake.
I don't swim.
But I do dream.
I will hold on to last nights journey to Lake Lilinonah in my heart.
Whether I accomplish my goals or continue to work on them will take a great amount of trust, truth and Love...
But I know there is a place I can go
before I go to Heaven and know I am loved.

Finding my way home

I'm a little confused as to why I ever stopped Journaling and blogging and writing and just limited myself to talking.
Because all while I was talking I was not listening, at all..

This is Journey has been a tough one for me.

At this time I need to heed the New Moon and the new beginnings it brings and start a new project.
So here we go...
New project.
Im gonna keep God in my heart and truth in my Life and maybe soon it will all come together.
Be well.