I wasn't gonna' blog today. But I miss ya'll. I am trying to decide when and where or if I am going on vacation. It has become draining to me and I am about to settle with staying home for the duration. It is an unfortunate echo in my mind which leaves me distracted and a bit confused. I know I have some responsibilities which will always be mine. I know I love my family enough to sacrifice, if needed. But what is the limit? When do I draw the line to seeing after adult children? When am I suppose to put me first, finally? Or am I even supposed to? Growing up is hard enough for me; no less for my precious children. But this portion of the Journey has me stumped. That, and the bittersweet emotion that has me in tears. Those deeper than normal thoughts that surface from time to time for no apparent reason. I can't decide whether it is happy tears I am crying or sad ones. It covers a multitude of events which have graced my Life; the reason that I cry today. Somehow I will gain my composure and thank GOD one more time for His Grace and Mercy. I will reflect on the short walk I took earlier to the Sanctuary; where I walked upon a deer and her daughter, perfectly still, in the afternoon sun, close enough to touch, quiet enough to hear GOD. It reminded me, I too, am a Mom. It was sentimental enough to make me cry. As they leaped over the brush and a 4ft wall ( it was soooooo graceful) the leaves from the trees fell like snow covering the ground and reminding me again of Nature in its full glory. I tell ya' I think Nature is Mrs. God. Since its all relative, I'm gonna' attribute this sullen mood to the weather and nature.
This morning I woke up from a wild dream and all I could hear was the word RELATIVE. Not having the ability to hear tone (from a source unrecognizable), I could not hear the true meaning. Was this about family? Kinship? Was it in relation to all that is going on around me? What was it about and who did it concern? Was it conditional, contingent or reliant? Did it mean pertinent, proximate? As I rolled over to check the time I replayed the evening before and asked God why was it only 6am and why wasn't I still asleep???!! (I repented for such a bold and ungrateful response). It was under the shower while a warm stream of water touched me, I became calm. The sounds outside of the garbage truck, the birds, cars and train faded gently. The temperature of the water stimulated my thoughts as my mind went into a deep state of relaxation. Who is our closest relative, I thought. God being my best friend, He came to mind immediately. Being the heir of Christ leaves me with such great Promise. I thought about what was relative in my Life (today). How it could affect me and to remember it's not the problem but how one deals with it. I pondered the fact that no matter how hard I try to take charge, I cannot. GOD IS IN CHARGE. For this I am grateful. My support says he can only be sober with God's help. I am ecstatic with his conclusion... as GOD is forever; therefore he will be forever sober. What a Magnificent GOD! But even more relative is the fact that GOD stands above us all, watching His blessings trickle down over us all. Smiling, loving us and being the Almighty Father He is. For my support's sobriety is my prayer answered, it is my children's exposure to FAITH (exemplified), and my grand kids joy. It is our family's heritage, it is our legacy. The list goes on for I have no idea who is sober now due to reading this blog. I have no clue how many lives this may touch. But I do know GOD is Miraculous and has a great sense of Humor and has a zillion trillion portals into our Lives. What a beautiful Journey. So today 's word is RELATIVE. Think about it.
15 weeks later.... 1. Live in Amherst for the summer 09 WITH a new car. 2. Go Skydiving again! 3. Meet Hillary Clinton. 4. Become a World Leader 5. Write a book. (JOURNAL) 6. Get a Jack Russell 7. Thank God more often 8. Be a father 9. Get pair of sunglasses...it's sunny out. 10. Live. Note to readers: 5 outta 10 ain't bad....
Hey kids... The Christian Heir will be taking vacation for a while. In the meantime please keep GOD first in your heart and know I love you. Take it one day at the time and give yourself a hug, for you are good! Think twice, cut once and help someone you don't even know today. Be a giver and receive what is yours. Talk to the animals and listen to the water. Kiss someone, twice. Put some money away in a jar, bag or box for a rainy day. Eat your vegetables and have fun! See you soon. CH
Sorry kids to be so late with the update. Happy Monday. I guess I am still in weekend mode as we had a GREAT weekend. Spent a lot of time listening to music and enjoying friendships. My supports' felt like chicken and the tortelini and chicken parm was to beg for. Now, today it is even more tastier! My son cooks this stuff. Me? I just eat it and thank GOD for great friends who know how to cook it! Got to go, nap time.